Happy {Winter} Weekend!

 It's January, which means there are not many positives to talk about.  Speaking strictly to temperature degrees that is.  Though when the weather is this frigid it's easy to let our minds dwell in the same cold and dark places that the sharp icicles...never mind.  Point being is that most of us are ready for summer and we want it now.  With the end of January still being six grotesquely long days away, let's focus on something else.  Like the fact that summer can be just as difficult to get through at times.  How in the world could that possibly be you ask?

Let's examine....

• Male jorts.  Really though, why are these still in retail stores?
• The need to be bikini ready.  Ick.  Blech.  Yuck.
• Insects.  I am talking to you, Daddy Long Legs.
• Humidity.  This wig ain't built to survive.
• Teenagers with nowhere to go but in the way of society.
• It's like there are no new shows on.  What am I supposed to watch when avoiding said Beliebers?

So there you have it.  Enjoy these winter weekends while they're still here.  Because once summer hits, it's all going to SUCK.

Getting resolute on resolutions

The fact that this blog is more than two weeks late is testament to the utter impossibility of New Year's resolutions: both keeping and making them.

Each year we set ourselves up for disappointment, defeat and inevitable self-loathing, and I'm starting to think this whole "new beginning" thing is bollox. As with nearly everything else — from hairstyles to relationships — I'm much more adept at articulating what I aim to avoid than what I'm looking to achieve.

So, in that vein, on these points I am resolute:

• Fuck strapless everything. My boobs are no longer the solution to sag. They don't protrude all perky-like to hold my clothes up anymore; they are part of the problem. Cut-out backs are for children.

• Busy is bull. In 2013 I'm out for a slower, more introspective year. I'd like to see more of fewer people, spend some quality time looking inwards instead of surveying the room, and re-learn how to have a slammin' time solo.
  
• Poo on being poor. It's not romantic. Despite what Le Mis would have one believe, I do not resemble Fantine when I get a bad haircut and skip a shower. I look like Gary Busey. Urchin is not an alluring look for most women. So for the sake of my vanity and my sanity, this year I'ma hustle.
  
• Weekends away do not belong to weddings. I am happy to attend, a pro in the photobooth and more than capable of cutting a rug, but this year I will go on at least one mini-vacay in celebration of my own unlikely existence, rather than someone else's eternal bliss. 

So cheers to a year of reverse resolutions. What are you out to avoid in 2013?

Happy {Comeback} Weekend!

This post is in every way dedicated to the co-author of this blog, Caroline. I would like to personally congratulate her for finally willing with all her power, Destiny's Child, to rerunite.  In addition, it is a plea from anyone who has had the pleasure of reading her witty and oft-times, intellectually stimulating posts for her to come back to the blogging world immediately.

What I am saying is, my only wish for this weekend is for Caroline to be the Beyonce to my Kelly Rowland.

To everyone else, hope your weekend involves less angst than Justin Timberlake's comeback message!

Happy {Beautiful} Weekend!

Since it's the New Year, start with a new attitude.  If you're like myself and 93% of the female population you probably have a tinge of self-deprecating humor combined with an "I'm better than this" sense of elitism.  It's befuddling, especially to ourselves.  So how about making things simple?  Let's just keep the elitism and lose the rest.

Lucky 2013

Some personal resolutions for a lucky 2013:

• Write more, which will in essence allow for a greater amount of opines.
• Read more, which will in essence allow for greater debates of others' opines.
• Take chances, but maybe only when they come for free.
• Follow through, which should include adding names to mysterious cell phone number entries.
• See new places, and revisit old ones.
• Start a new routine, ideally one that does not consist of another Bravo reality series.
• Smile and nod more, and try to catch at least three furrowed brows before they happen.
• Take lots and lots of pictures, and for bonus points be in more of them.
• Decorate a new space, and make it something worth staying for more than a year.
• Make new friends, and don't be afraid to "unfriend" when necessary.
• More spinning and stretching, less far-fetched and disgruntled dreams of marathoning. 
• Don't be afraid, and just do the darn thing.

{Image Credit: via Poppytalk}