Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Undated & Other Words to Know

Being a twentysomething single girl in 2013 has many advantages, including, but not limited to having the flicker of hope to complete a juice cleanse.  When we are not over-exerting our bank accounts on Lululemon though, we are trying to navigate through our one great challenge: dating.  The world of courtship has dramatically changed since Lindsay Lohan essentially single-handedly got her parents back together bi-continentally without so much as even a laptop.  Even when Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan gave us a glimpse that other forms of communication could soon be involved, no one could have prepared us for the world of smart phones.  It's not that I am necessarily trying to victimize my generational demographic, but I would say it's at least food for thought.  Not since the Doris Day to Jane Fonda transitional era has there been such a cultural shift in the world of dating.  All hope is not completely lost (after all, there is GPS now), but there is a lot of fine print between the lines (thanks a lot, Groupon).  Here's a brief cheat sheet of what the world of lust and lost lust looks like as we know it.

Awkward:  Not to be confused with "weird," this is when one party really likes the other party, but the same cannot be said the other way around.
Charading:  You met someone at a bar exchanged numbers, have text conversations that are 55% true, and have no real intention of ever seeing each other again.
Dating:  You text, meet up at actual restaurants, have met at least a couple of each others' friends, and are just waiting for one of the two of you to bring up the conversation of being "together."
Geographically Undesirable: A very easy excuse to use when appropriate for an "awkward" situation.
Had a Thing With:  A very vague term referencing a time when two people may have been "together," or may have just been "talking."  It's probable that things ended up "weird."
Hooking Up:  Events happen that are not proper topics for Sunday dinner table talk.
Not Sure What We Are:  You know exactly what you are, and it's not "together" but you're waiting to see if incriminating photos appear on your Facebook Newsfeed.  This way you can at least have some drama to consume your time.
Relapsing:  a) Making the same mistake twice with the same person or b) Filling a void of time with someone from the past who also has some time available.
Shacking:  A word you should only reserve for college, even if circumstances are exactly the same post-college.
Talking:  A person of conversation you hope your friends ask you about at Sunday brunch.
Together:  Having lack of fear that anything you say will ever get to your POI (that's "person of interest" for you amateurs out there) because they are now loyal to you first and foremost.
Undating:  Formally telling someone you wish to no longer dine with them.  However, you may have a friend with a lot of points on OpenTable who would be great to get in touch with.
Weird:  Not to be confused with "awkward," this is when things are over, but no formal PR release (a.k.a. Friday night happy hour gossip) has been made.

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